Beware: This thing can snatch up your dignity in the blink of an eye.
I meant to post this last week (as in right after it happened), but I was too busy nursing my psychological wounds to put a coherent thought together. Anyways, I have decided to stop bringing my cell phone to my English class, and here's why:
If your cell phone has ever rung in the middle of class, or your music library has ever spontaneously turned on, you know how much it sucks. You're sitting in class being all studious-like when all of a sudden, seemingly, at first, in the recesses of your mind, and then quite glaringly in your immediate sensory environment, you hear your jolly ringtone pierce the drone of lecture. All eyes turn to you. Blood rushes to your face as you fumble around in your purse to turn it off. Within one or two minutes, though, you get over it: This is why you set your ringtone to a song you like/don't mind others identifying you with. Life goes on.
But what if your phone was handed down from your gangsta brother, you hadn't had a chance to update the music library (95% of which has African-American origins and involves either the word "drank" or "sexy"), and the tune that interrupted class was one that lauds the sexual merits of a female dancing on a pole?
Yeah. It sucks hard.
Which is why I'm never bringing my cell phone to class again.
the play-by-play
Class: *discussing role of religion in immigrant experience*
Me: *underlining some lines in my book, blissfully unaware that T-Pain was about to ruin my life*
T-Pain: I KNOW SHE GOT IT CUZ SHE LOOKIN AT ME LIKE SHE WANT IT DROP IT LOW MAKE ME WANNA THROW SOME DS ON IT
Me: (HAH sucks for whosever lame ringtone that is. Wait. Why is it coming from my purse. PLEASE DEAR GOD TELL ME THAT'S NOT MY PHONE.)
Class: *Stares in my general direction. Prof stops lecturing.*
Me: (Fuck.)
T-Pain: WHATEVER IT IS, YOU CAN'T STOP IT CUZ SHE GET LOW WHEN SHE ON THAT POLE AND THAT LET ME KNOW SHE GOT IT
Me: (OH GOD, HOW DO I TURN MY PHONE OFF? ) *Fumble with phone for a century*
T-Pain: SHE GOT IT SHE GOT IT SHE GOT IT
Class: *Stare*
T-Pain: SHE GOT IT SHE GOT IT SHE GOT IT
Class: *Stare*
Me: (Why, god???)
Guy sitting next to me with huge, obnoxious smirk on his face: Here. *Takes phone and turns it off.*
Me: Uh. Thanks.
Class: *Totally unnecessary awkward silence*
Prof: ANYWAYS...
Now all 30 people in my English class think I'm a raging tool who listens to T-Pain and doesn't know how to use a cell phone.
SUCCESS.
.JPG)
_0.JPG)
