obviously, i win at college.

College is supposed to heighten your academic standards and push you to achieve at a level befitting the expectations of higher education, right? Wrong. 

Case in point:

I just finished and turned in a term paper 20 minutes after the deadline- a deadline that was already extended by almost two weeks. Lacking black ink/the time to find someone with black ink, each page of said paper was printed in a different color: purple, red, blue, grey, and faded combinations of all of the above. And on top of all this, since I obviously couldn't print any additional copies, I fixed the typos I found in bright blue gel pen. Can anyone say epic failure?

This atrocity is just the cherry on top of a gigantic, fatty-sized ice cream sundae of term paper-related failures that occurred this week. 

If you'd like some evidence, let's play a fun game called Find The Errors I Discovered In My Term Papers... After Turning Them In. In case you are even more of a pathetic failure than I am, I bolded them to help you out.

1. both had their minds on one goal, the ver same goal that

In Spanish, ver is a word. Sadly, in English, such is not the case.

2. Many of these societal fears and anxieties were expressed in dystopian science fiction films like The Sixth Day (2000). In The 6th Day, Roger Spattiswoode explores

Two different movies, or blatant failure? I'm gonna say... blatant failure.

3. the clones were initially raised in terrible conditions, treated them as sub-human, and

Grammar at its finest. Can you believe I came into college as a Print Journalism major?

4. in response to rapid innovations in medical technologies as genetic engineering and cloning

This is just stupid.

5. Indeed, persuasion s an incredibly important element of human communication

Another important element of human communication? Completing your words. Oh, the irony!

... And these were just the few that I noticed.

Obviously, I spent a lot of time on these papers. 
Obviously, I read them before I turned them in.

Obviously, I take my college education very seriously.