reasons why i will never be a housewife.

1. I fail at cleaning. See picture below.

My mom would be so proud.

2. I fail at washing dishes. My entire stock of kitchenware is piled up on my desk, filled with the ghosts of cereals past. Accordingly, I never have a clean bowl/plate/utensil on hand, which, as it turns out, proves to be extremely inconvenient whenever I experience the desire to eat something (a desire that I experience quite frequently). Nevertheless, it never strikes me to actually wash them.

Sad, neglected bowls. If bowls could clamor, they'd be clamoring for a bath.

3. For the life of me, I cannot figure out the damn laundry machine. You would think that a whole year of doing laundry by myself would have made me into a washing-and-drying-pro, but alas, this is not the case. 

Various ways in which I have failed at laundry this year (just a representative sample):

1st fail (initiating laundry experience back in September): Did an entire load of laundry without help. Proceeded to become euphoric with pride and satisfaction, thinking that I passed the first test of collegiate independence. Soon realized that I forgot detergent. Had to do it all over again with head lowered in shame.

2nd fail: Put detergent into wrong compartment. Poured another cup full of detergent into the right compartment. Panicked that the excess detergent would cause machine to explode. Machine did not explode, but clothes turned out suspiciously smooth and silky (probably because there was leftover detergent all over them).

3rd, 4th, 5th fails: Stuffed too many clothes in the dryer. Had to run the drying machine multiple times to dry entire load.

6th fail (today, 8 months or so after my first fail): Spotted someone's Downy in the laundry room. Decided it must be my lucky day. Poured a generous cup full into the detergent compartment. Soon thereafter, realized that Downy is actually not detergent, but fabric softener.

Good thing housewifery has never been in my plans for the future.