the case of the HFCS-infected yogurt.

The perpetrator.

Sorry for the long absence;

the past two weeks have been a chaotic blur of moving in, buying shit, settling in, buying more shit, learning how to cook (I'm now a pro at making omelets, pasta and paninis), learning how to clean after myself, working out (yes, like physical exercise), starting classes, reading for said classes, writing for the Daily Trojan, hating the Daily Trojan, mooping around the apartment,

etc.

While it's really tempting for me to sit here and complain about all the things I really want to complain about, I'm not going to, because I do enough of that in real life. So instead, I'm going to tell you to go see Inglourious Basterds, the latest Tarantino flick, because it's damn entertaining (even with the scalping scenes-- and if you know me at all, you know that I hate scalping scenes). I'm going to tell you to savor your summer while it lasts, if you're one of my lucky chums who attend Ohio State (which enforces a never-ending summer policy). And I'm also going to leave you with an interchange that took place between me and Nitasha (the roomie) just a few minutes ago that, I think, illustrates our relationship quite well.

Nitasha: (runs to the room with yogurt in hand) OH. MY GOD. THERE IS HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP IN MY YOGURT.  

Me: Please calm down. 

Nitasha: (eats a few spoonfuls) DO I HAVE TO FINISH THIS??? 

Me: Yes. Can you calm down please? 

Nitasha: THERE'S. HIGH. FRUCTOSE. CORN SYRUP. IN IT. 

Me: 

Nitasha: Those are four words that will NEVER be in my food.

Me: You're retarded.

[Fact: The trivial amount of high-fructose corn syrup in Yoplait isn't going to kill you. 

Another fact: Nitasha is an obsessive, born-again, borderline psychotic health freak. 

Yet another fact: After finishing her yogurt, Nitasha proceeded to make mysterious noises from the kitchen for ten minutes that sounded suspiciously like she was eating the entire contents of the pantry and refrigerator. I did not ask questions. Another five minutes later, she ran into our room screaming that she "can't stop eating." And that is why we're roommates.]

12 things we've learned from the movies this summer.

Here.

hometown pride. well, sort of.

In five days, I will be back in La La Land.

The sheer thought of it is making me feel sort of queasy, like I have this slight bit of stomach fever that just won't go away, which inspired me to write about why I gain so much enjoyment from the Nasty Nati. Read it if you're curious, a fellow Cincinnatian, or shocked that someone could enjoy living in... Ohio.

No, this isn't the view I wake up to, but it's Cincinnati at its finest.

items of journalistic interest.

Seeing that I spend a good two to three hours a day splayed out on my deck in an attempt to add some pigment to my embarrassingly (for an Asian who spends the majority of her time in California) pale skin, I've been doing some major magazine-perusing lately (actual novels require too much eyestrain in the sun). Items of interest:

1. Joel Stein, columnist for Time. 

I've never been a dedicated follower of any single columnist; I tend to just drift to articles that interest me. But this guy can get me to read about anything, including sports, which means that I've officially sold my soul. The dude is freaking hilarious. I swear, he could write a ten word sentence about feet and it would have me on the floor. I have to read his columns in private or else people (namely, my parents) will think I'm high. Too bad he's married, because I'm pretty sure I have a crush on him and his genius wit. We even have the same birthday. (Which makes three: my friend Jill, Daniel Radcliffe, and Joel Stein. Yes, I wiki-stalked a Time columnist. Whatever, judging is for losers.)

2. "The New Trophy Wives: Asian Women" by Ying Chu; Marie Claire.

An investigation into  yellow fever. If you're female and Asian-American, you've probably experienced it yourself. If not, you've probably noticed all those Hollywood tycoons with Asian arm candy (Nicolas Cage, Woody Allen, etc.)-- is it love, or a fetish? The ever-elusive question explored, here. (I have some issues with this article, but it brings up some interesting points.)

3. Fashion mags' obsession with the recession.

This is a point of annoyance rather than interest. We all know there's a recession going on. We all know people are in a financial pinch. But fashion mags aren't supposed to be budget-conscious; they're supposed to be a means of escape. When I open a fashion magazine, I don't want to see the clothes I see at the mall; I want to see the creative, fantastical, artistic creations walking down the runway. I don't buy a magazine to see American Eagle and Keds, I buy it to see 3.1 Phillip Lim and Louboutins. So please, enough with the "budget issues," the "everything for under $100," the "money-saving shopping guides." I don't want some diet version of fashion; I want the real thing, thanks.

this is a boy meets girl story... not a love story.

Love -- or something like it.

Remember when I predicted that 500 Days of Summer would be delicious? I was right. One word: perfection. The movie was practically made for me, from the soundtrack to the choice of actors and the beautifully awkward sense of humor. I am in love. Deliriously, ardently, passionately in love. With Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, my husband), and Summer (Zooey Deschanel, my always-quirky and entrancing girl crush), and the refreshing, charming, poignant story line, and every last amazing song placed so eloquently in the movie. (This is one of those movies that use good music well, like Garden State, unlike the movies I complained about). 

But then again, if I've learned anything from the film, 

love's just a word.

i live every week like it's shark week.

Do you?

chi-town times.

My first (long and wonderfully descriptive ) draft of this blog got deleted. So if this one is slightly more curt than usual, now you know why. Anyways, I spent the last weekend in Chicago with Jenny and Steph  ('SC chums). Notable moments are listed below:

1. Harry Potter Exhibit @ Museum of Science & Industry:

Way overpriced (ticket alone was $26), but way worth it. It was almost as good as going to Hogwarts itself (I know because I go there). If you can, go!!! You can see a bunch of costumes, set pieces, props, etc. from the films. You can technically touch them, too, but then you'd get kicked out. I was SO close to touching Ron's hilarious dress robes from Goblet of Fire ("I look like my Great Aunt Tessie! I smell like my Great Aunt Tessie! Murder me, Harry!"), but I chickened out last minute due to the heavy presence of hawk-like guards. Still, thanks to my ninja skills, I managed to sneak in a few illegal photographs (below). Blurry, yes, but beggars can't be choosers. 

Outside the exhibit, where pseudo-British museum workers 

would ask lame and occasionally incorrect trivia questions to the awaiting audience.

Hermione's robes and casual attire.

Ron's robes!

Costumes and set pieces from Prisoner of Azkaban. 

And this was when I got yelled at by a guard.

2. Jenny attempting to get us a rollaway bed at Hotel Felix:

Jenny (on the phone): Hi. Um, do you charge a fee for rollaway beds? Because, um. This bed is not... comfortable. For me. (It was actually so soft and comfortable it was practically a floating cloud.)

Hotel Desk: No, we don't charge a fee.

Jenny (noticeably heartened): Oh!

Hotel Desk: ... But we don't have rollaway beds.

Well, there's one way to raise someone's hopes... and then violently crush them to pieces.

3. Shark Week:

I know it's not Chicago-specific, but since it's Shark Week on Discovery Channel, Jenny, Steph and I spent our late nights glued to the TV screen watching gruesome shark attacks. Colin (Steph's significant other) is currently scuba diving in the Bahamas, and Steph is a worrier if I've ever seen one (love you Steph), so she basically began to pee herself.

Steph: OMYGAWD!!! What if Colin gets attacked by sharks!!!

Guy on TV: ... and then we headed for the Bahamas, one of the most shark-attack prone places in the entire world...

Steph: WAHHHH!!!?? OMYGAWD!!!!!!

5 minutes later, Steph is sitting on the couch with her laptop. Jenny goes over to see what she's up to.

Jenny: HAHAHHAHAHAHHA

Me: What?

Jenny: Steph is just sitting here staring at her Facebook picture with Colin, all sad-like.

Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA HE'S NOT GOING TO GET ATTACKED BY SHARKS

Steph: HOW DO YOU KNOW??? 

 

4. Chatting up a decidedly Democratic stranger @ Starbucks:

Need a conversation starter? Say the words "Young Republican" in a big city. Worked for me... 

Me (talking about the minimal presence of Republicans at USC): blah blah blah Young Republicans blah blah blah blah. (Random Stranger looks over from coffee counter with creepy grin plastered on his face; I attempt to ignore him) Um... yeah... blah blah blah blah

Random Stranger (walks over, creepy grin still plastered on his face): Young Republicans?? Young Republicans?? Are you one?

Me: Um, no. Ha. Ha. Just talking about how there aren't that many at school... 

Random Stranger: Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha! was gonna say, I don't think those exist... 

Me: Yeah, ha ha.

Random Stranger: Heh heh heh. Yeah, cuz they're all old, right? Ha ha!

Me: Ha haaaaa, yeah.

*** AWKWARD SILENCE ***

Random Stranger: Okay, then! Well, you have a good day now!!!

Oh, Chicago... and my future roomies (minus one who was very missed). How I love thee.