10 surefire ways to sever ties with your roommate.

In light of my recent promise to Felicia (the roommate) to dedicate my next post to her... here are 10 guaranteed ways to tick off your college roommate (all in good fun, of course), inspired by a year of hilarious (or not so hilarious) roommate exchanges.

1. Make disparaging comments about everything your roommate puts on as she gets ready in the morning. Example: (Roommate puts on a shirt.) "Uh... are you sure you want to wear that?" (Roommate tries on a different shirt.) "HAHAHA" (Roommate begins to get angry.) "Just leave it on.. I don't think anything could improve this situation."

2. Stand right behind your roommate and read what she's typing, as she's typing it,  over her shoulder... whenever she's trying to write a paper.

3. Frequently lock yourself out of the room. Your roommate will be forced to open the door for you so many times that she'll either begin to check for you whether you have your card before you or she leaves the room (if she's nice), or accumulate feelings of spite against you and begin to purposefully lock you out every time you leave the room, even if you're just going to the bathroom (if she's REALLY nice).

4. Mount/jump on your roommate every time she is lying on her bed attempting to do work/sleep/rest. Scream "MOUNT!!!!" every time you do so.

5. Buy a bag of Naked Pita Chips. Proceed to eat them loudly and in rapid succession right next to your roommate as she attempts to fall asleep. Remember to crinkle the bag each time you reach for more chips to ensure that you reach your maximum volume potential. 

6. Blast "The Call" by the Backstreet Boys on surround sound speakers at least once every one or two weeks, and make sure to put the song on repeat.

7. Every time your roommate changes clothes, enthusiastically egg her on. Example: (Roommate begins to unzip her pants) "Yeah, (insert name here)!!!! Take it all off!!!"

8. Sing along to everything, even songs inside your head. When your roommate begins to sigh in annoyance, you know it's time to increase the volume and add an interpretive dance routine. 

9. Every time your roommate opens the refrigerator, tell her that she's fat. Example: (Roommate opens the refrigerator) "You're fat." 

10. Laugh and point at your roommate as she struggles (in vain) to get up each morning for class, and then struggles (in vain) to locate her glasses. Invite all of your friends over to watch your roommate get up in the morning, promising "the best twenty minutes of your life."

*I am personally guilty of committing only acts 3, 8, and occasionally 9. As for the rest... yup, you guessed it...all Felicia.

#4. Mount your roommate whenever she's trying to do work on her bed. For added enjoyment, take over her MacBook and start taking obnoxious Photobooth pictures.