desperate times call for desperate measures.

This is what I look like between the hours of 9 and 6.

Except without Pam lovingly gazing at me from behind.

I've never had a real job before, unless you count my 12-hour-a-week job at the library junior year (I barely survived 5 months), or my unofficial but nonetheless lucrative job tutoring grammatically deficient FOB kids ($20/hour will get you through anything), so my internship at LG CNS has been a wake-up call.

A huge, blaring, annoying wake-up call ( like one of these).

Monday through Friday, I find myself in an exhausting battle against a stale office environment (there's not a single family photo or happy color in sight), the mundaneness of my job, and  the sheer monstrosity of the 9-hour work day. All day every day, I'm in the same exact place: sitting in my cubicle, staring at a computer screen, eyelids drooping, headache ensuing. 

I can now say I've experienced what it's like to be stuck in a job that I hate-- and believe me, it's not fun.

So what's a suffering employee like me to do ? Lots of things, actually.

When times (at work) get tough... it's time to take action:

1. If I've learned one thing, it's that it's better not to fight extreme drowsiness. It will only result in you nodding off like a fool, typing unintelligible phrases (e.g. "lkajcorpoarte contsdactld adte"), and reading the same three words (overseas subsidiary management, overseas subsidiary management, overseas subsidiary management) over and over again. Instead, when your eyelids get heavy, slip out to the bathroom, put down the toilet cover, sit on the toilet (it's not that gross- I mean how many people a day do you think sit on the toilet cover?) and take a short nap. Toilet seat nap sessions can be conducted several times a day without anyone noticing (as far as I'm aware).

2. To moderately alleviate intense boredom, it can help to re-do your  hair over and over again. My personal record is 6 hairstyles in a day (a lot can be done with bangs and long hair). Not sure how this will work for the short-haired/bald/male, however.

4. Bring lots and lots of snacks (the crunchier, the better) and eat them constantly. The persistent jaw movement and loud crunching noise will keep you alert. However, be prepared to gain a few pounds ... and lose a few office friends (hey, it's not like I had any in the first place).

5. Stock up on Listerine Pocket Paks/ Mouth Spray. The sinus-clearing, refreshing, tingly sensation is guaranteed to give you a burst of energy just when you need it (they didn't even pay me to write this!).